


Falling With a Silent Scream

by PanWithPlans



Series: Even the anxious academic [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Autistic Braig, Autistic Even, Braig Magic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Even has anxiety, Existential Crisis, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Murder?, Mild Angst, Non-Graphic Violence, Sleep talking, but its there, its not graphic, of feelings during murder?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanWithPlans/pseuds/PanWithPlans
Summary: Braig likes to sleep talk and accidentally gives Even an existential crisis.
Relationships: Braig/Even (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Even the anxious academic [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1700413
Kudos: 10





	Falling With a Silent Scream

**Author's Note:**

> tw: there's some talk of emotions of witnessing brethren be killed.

Even could never understand Braig’s sleep talking habit.

He could accept it as something he just did, but that didn’t stop it from being weird.

And it sure didn’t stop him from being woken up by Braig’s sleeping existential dread.

“What if heartless have feelings?”

Even sighs. This wasn’t what he asked for this early in the morning. He was not at all prepared for a crisis on their ethics. He thought they had gotten past this.

Clearly not.

“No, Braig. They don’t.”

That seemed to appease the man, and Even could finally fall asleep again.

_What if heartless have feelings?_

No, he couldn’t think about that, not when he had to sleep.

But… it was a question he hadn’t thought about before.

What if they did?

Ansem was a heartless and he seemed to have emotion, at least from what Even had seen from him.

What if heartless had feelings?

He was a scientist, why had he never considered this?

What if all the heartless they’d killed had felt it. Had felt pain as they and their brethren had been slaughtered.

So many species needed, and found safety in numbers. Heartless came from people.

Had they been murdering and tearing apart friends? Families?

Who’s to say they couldn’t communicate?

Could they hear each other’s final pleas as they were felled one by one?

No. Not now. Even knew he shouldn’t be thinking about this.

He had promised Braig that he would try and sleep more, or sleep at all in the first place.

He clearly wasn’t sleeping, and couldn’t deal with Braig seeing him like this.

He was in such a state and over a meaningless sentence from a passed out man.

It was foolish of him to be like this.

Foolish.

Even sighed. He really needed to sleep.

But he just couldn’t.

_What if heartless had feelings?_

“What’s up? I can hear you from down here.”

Ah. He must have woken up Braig. That was never his intention.

“Just lost in thought, its nothing to worry about. You should go back to sleep.”

Braig did not, in fact, go back to sleep. Instead he moved to be sat up against Even.

“Clearly not nothing. What’s up?”

Even felt one of Braig’s hands take his own. It made his thoughts… clearer? Maybe, or maybe not.

But that’s not what he should be thinking about.

“In your sleep… you said something. About whether heartless had feelings or not. And I was simply thinking about it.”

Normally, someone would listen to his explanation and either accept it, or they wouldn’t, but they would avoid asking about it to him, knowing his fondness for explaining things for a very long time.

But Braig just looked at him, and Even knew that he would have to keep going.

Curse him and his... Braig magic.

“What if we’ve been murdering families. What f they spend their last moments terrified, but with that deep set feeling of their inevitable death as they hear their brethren die?”

Instead of immediately giving a response, Braig just held his hand tighter.

“They’re doing all they know. They wake up as a heartless, probably pack bond, and then do all they know how. And we kill them for it. Everyone says they are the enemy, but are we any better than them?”

Braig sounded sad? Or tired. But not sleepy tired.

They sat there for a while, Even rearranging them so he could put an arm around him.

_What if heartless have feelings?_

“I… I want to look further into this, but I worry of how the others will respond to this. I fear they may think I want to cause more harm.”

“They won’t think that, I know they’re trusting you more now. But if they did, Id protect your feelings.”

“I’m glad to hear that. But I am not glad to hear you protecting me. Who’s the one with the shield? You would just shoot them and then go nap.”

He gets two finger guns in response and he smiles.

“I apologise for waking you up.”

Braig didn’t give a verbal response, instead just feels him adjusting them both so they can sleep.

Though his mind was still racing with thoughts of heartless and screams and pain, the familiar feel of Braig laying next to him helped keep him out of his mind and drifting off once more.

“Like we had to be forgiven by the lights, we just need to be forgiven by them. Maybe pull a Lea and give them some ice cream.”

Even let out a soft snort at that.

“Goodnight, Braig.”

“Night, Ev."

**Author's Note:**

> This didn't end up how I intended it. We do love having an emotional crisis over the mindset of a heartless.


End file.
